this morning

So I am not a morning person, at least not usually. I mean if I had J.Cole in the morning, I would be a morning person...But I don't...I have my mom, my daughter and my mom's mom, also my mother, to wake up to, in the morning.

Well, I sometimes have coffee, which I make with cinnamon and cardamon and hot milk. Usually sweetened with maple syrup, sometimes coconut sugar. And that helps make me a morning person, but ideally...I would have hot water with lemon and a shot of ginger from the juicer. God bless me. But I know an orgasm would be a good way to start the day. I also know that being chaste, is a method of self- preservation, so God bless me.

I guess life for me, without having any formed social bonds, is more about me than my relationships. Something about social processes don't excite me, like they are supposed to. I guess once you've experienced despair and real true regret, nothing comes from that. And making nothing into something, isn't a socially acceptable ideal. After all, society values progress. Society emphasizes the importance of having something, and getting more. Middle finger to that. I love life for its complex stillness and its rare beauty. I love that feeling that you get when you can't name the spark of the divine in your repertoire of emotinal intelligence , you can't fit the exact label onto the feeling of manifesting life. It's just life, and for that reason I wake up in the morning, and I laugh at my kid who would rather stay home and be here with me than go to school. She would rather shave her head than have me oil and pull through braids. Or my grandma, who keeps calling out to God to end her life, and looking at me and saying take care of the baby, meaning, she has become a baby. Or my mom who knowingly puffs on a cigarette despite her bones aching her, moving far beyond time into her role as a daughter, a mother and a grandmother. You see, all those things happening at the same time, they remind me that chaos is sometimes the fruit of humanity. And this reminds me that it's okay to see beyond the veil. To know that the systems invented for social customs, aren't the design order. Beyond chaos I see the strength. And well. I may not manifest the reasons to go beyond, I know damn well who the fuck I am, And that's a good morning. I did't mean to cusz.

nigga xo

Notes of Cherished Fragrances

Coming back to myself in a search for fragrance, I like to remind myself of my cherished memories of perfumes. Reminded by the notes in these favourites of my childhood memories, and the transition into being a phonenomal woman. I realize that this, an excerpt from Miss Angelou, is a cliché and pay homage to her mastery of wisdom and beautiful poems. I credit her with an eccentricity and positive genius, available to all women.  I think her insight into womanhood is an invaluable inspiration to all. Men and women alike. I hope that as society evolves into the far reaching concerns of issues beyond what this blog addresses, that Miss Angelou's strength is portrayed in more and more ways.

I say this because, well, women matter to me. In a deep sense of reverence, we all know that the woes and pain associated with femininity are both intriguing and exasperating. Since i can remember I was taught that women get the shame and men get the name. I was taught that to be a young lady meant so many things different forming a young man, but not to be differentiated b society, because well, feminism... 

Hmmm, the scent of a woman, our very body chemistry, our pheromones, or the genetic make-up is so different. And because of that my next blog is dedicated to my love of perfume, in my life. I grew up, with model mom, whom loved perfume. Very much so, her love was a fascination and she explained to me the difference between L'eau de toillėtte and l'eau de perfume at a young age. Her favourites were Shalimar, and Opium. I am not sure if they still are made, but I know my mom most likely has a bottle or two of each in her bedroom. 

I could never make perfume last, I spray that stuff like its going out of style! Literally love the fragrances of vanilla, and oriental notes of musk, as much as I do make-up! 

My first perfume, was given to me in Italy, and it was a lily of the valley fragrance, reminiscent of my innocence and purity. I think I was maybe seven years old. My aunt, the aesthetician gave it to me as a gift with a red Oscar De La Renta bathing suit for the beach in Terracina, the beach town where my maternal grandparents had made their dwelling before WWII. That perfume stayed with me until I was like twelve, and than CK ONE was like my everything, until I was about fourteen. Then I was on a L'eau D'issy kick until I was around twenty years old. AT twenty years old, I had decided to explore natural fragrances, and had studied plant chemistry and the basic knowledge of aromatherapy. 

Some of my favourite oils, included the popular Lavender, I learned that there are varieties of lavender essential oils, some trace the chemistry of the plant d.n.a., others have specific plant parts used in distillation and etc. I loved bergamot, for its uplifting citrus and relied on ylang ylang and chamomile to help ease my nervous tension and still budding womanhood. My mom, she loves Jasmin Absolute for its exclusive fragrance and that also rubbed off on me. 

I also used lemon when I had to study for exams, and was citrus-fied by the uplifting fragrance of this essential oil. I continued to experiment with essential oils throughout my soap making processes and in the making of some of my own face packs, Becoming particularly attracted to Frankincense Myrrh and Sandalwood for their unique and exceptional compositions. 

Ylang-ylang, or cananga adroit, its scientific or INCI botanical name is prized for it's aphrodisiac properties. I like to use it in my hair masks. Other people prefer Ginger as a hair tonic because it stimulates the root growth. But I add it to my hennas and my oil treatments, for its relaxing fragrance, by itself. I consider hair, to be the spiritual antenna to the world, and very often I try and nourish and treat my follicles. Although often, you'll see me with a whole head of weave...

Bergamot, or citrus bergamia, its INCI botanical name, is positively a mood uplifter. I love it added to Jasmine scented lotions and, would dab it on as a perfume through out my pregnancy for its reputed benefits. Find it in Earl Grey tea, and if you want to try something different, make the most out of a London Fog lattè at Starbucks! 

Jasmine Absolut, is a precious gem in the collection of my cherished aroma memories. This fragrance solidifies romance, healing, self care and nourishment. I add it to my favourite water based emollient products. because it's complicated profile I try not to add it to anything where it will be overpowered by other botanicals. One that I love is the Hydrance Optimale Hydrating Serum, from Avene .

Sandalwood, Santalum Album it's botanical name, was a treasure to me during my dance career. It shared with me a balance for every injury and a forgiving quality for every remedy to was my tension. This fragrance has soothed my soul back to life on more than one occasion.

Frankincense, or its botanical name Boswellia Sacra, is a mystery to me. I find it has power, to both reveal the self to the self, and protect the self from the self. I believe everyone has a shadow . I know my shadow, has a shadow side because I'm totally a runner. So I rely on this oil to help me focus my energies and honestly, I need this oil in my spiritual practice, However, it is also a tremendous cosmetic aid in retaining youth to the dermis forts clarifying properties. Frankincense is used in some Sisley products, such as their mask which I adore "Creamy Mask with Tropical Resins" I think its around $122.00 for a tube, so I quickly learned how to incorporate my own essential oil mix with face masks made at home. I could never quite figure out the Benzoin component of their formula, because it comes as a resin and is very difficult to coax out the bottle...If you have the money to spend on SISLEY skin care, go for it. They are overpriced but effective cosmetics.

Anyhow, from divulging some cosmetic secrets I seem to have gotten away from the sentiment in the post, supposed to be about fragrance ! 

This blog is fun because in my own silly way, I set out to make a video about my favourite scent, Vanilla!

On this journey I wanted to encourage very lady to retain their power and enjoy their perfume bottles...maybe even make their own by experimenting with layers of fragrance and essential oils! 

But also, I wanted to lament about the Cartier brand revealing its new version of "panthere", because I adore the original version that was made in 1986 by, Alberto Morillas. That perfume was notes of exotic flowers and musk complimented by a bottle with a cute little exotic animal on top...And I loved it, I almost stopped wearing perfume when they stopped making it! 

Cartier has reinvented the perfume, or come out with La Panthere, and I'm afraid that it's not the same. The other perfume that I so love for its vanilla notes in Casmir by Chpard in 1992. A vanilla base note mixed with balsamic florals for a delightful opulent fragrance that is no longer sold in stores today! 

trust no man.

if i could write a song....to soothe your troubles...
it's melody would encourage your dreams

it's rhythm would lift you above the chaos

it's notes would make you feel safe

it's tempo, embraces your curiosity

it would be about survival, and the will to live despite the hardships you've endured

and it's inspiration, my sincerity...


Sincerely,

100

Vegan Pumpkin Pie ...

yummy!

COMFORT AND THE COLOUR OCTOBER

I AM SOOOO MAKING THIS WITH MY DAUGHTER TONIGHT!

The best Pumpkin Pie that requires just 10 ingredients and is both vegan and gluten free! Crisp crust, flavorful pumpkin center - the perfect pumpkin pie for your holiday meals.

Author: Minimalist Baker

Recipe type: Dessert

Cuisine: Vegan, Gluten Free

Serves: 10

Ingredients

CRUST

• 6 Tbsp cold vegan butter (or chilled coconut oil with varied results)
• 1 1/4 cup Bob’s Red Mill 1:1 Gluten Free Flour 
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 4-6 Tbsp ice cold water

FILLING

• 2 3/4 cups pumpkin puree (~1 1/2 15-ounce cans)
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/3 cup unsweetened plain almond milk
• 1 Tbsp olive oil, or melted coconut oil
• 2 1/2 Tbsp cornstarch or arrowroot powder
• 1 3/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or sub mix of ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg & cloves)
• 1/4 tsp sea salt

Instructions

1. To prepare crust, add gluten free flour and salt to a large mixing bowl and whisk to combine. Slice or dollop the cold butter in and work gently with a fork or pastry cutter to cut it in. Don’t overwork, just get it incorporated.
2. Next add ice cold water a little at a time and use a wooden spoon to stir. Only add as much water as you need to help it come together.
3. Once a loose dough is formed, transfer to a piece of plastic wrap and work gently with your hands to form a 1/2 inch thick disc. Wrap firmly and refrigerate for a minimum 30 minutes, up to 2 days. Just let it warm back up a little before using. You don’t want it too warm or it can get too soft to handle.
4. Once your dough is chilled, preheat oven to 350 degrees F and prepare pie filling.
5. Add all pie ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth, scraping down sides as needed. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed. Set aside.
6. To roll out the crust, unwrap the disc and place it between two sizable layers of wax paper (plastic wrap will work OK, but is a little more difficult to work with). Use a rolling pin to gently roll it into the shape of your pie pan. If it cracks, don’t stress - you can reform it with your hands once you get it in the pan. But try and be gentle.
7. To transfer the crust, remove the top layer of wax paper and gently lay the pie dish face down on top of the crust and use the support of the wax paper to quickly but carefully invert it. Don’t overthink it - just do it.
8. Once you get the crust inverted, gently use your hands to form it into the pan, working the crust up along the sides. It can be a little tricky but it bakes beautifully, so it’s worth the effort! Just try not to overwork the dough in the process - it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes to perfect the shape. Any holes or cracks can be mended with a little excess dough and the heat of your hand.
9. TIP: I would advise against trying to be fancy and do any elaborate design with the crust, so just get the crust in, get a flat edge and go.
10. Pour filling into pie crust and bake at 350 for 58-65 minutes. The crust should be light golden brown and the filling will still be just a bit jiggly and have some cracks on the top. Remove from oven and let cool completely before loosely covering and transferring to the refrigerator to fully set for 4-6 hours, preferably overnight.
11. Slice and serve with coconut whipped cream and an additional sprinkle of cinnamon, nutmeg, and/or pumpkin pie spice (optional). This would also be amazing with my Vegan Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream and Brown Sugar Pecans!

YESTERDAY I LOVED YOU LESS...

YESTERDAY I LOVED YOU LESS THAN I WILL...TOMORROW...LOVING YOU MORE AND MORE 

LEARNING TO FIND A WAY WHEN THERE ISN'T A WAY IN SIGHT. BECAUSE FAITH IS THE ABSENCE OF FACT, AND BELIEF IS THE FEELING THAT EMBRACES ONES SOUL. WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU SIMPLY KNOW. BUT TO LOOK BEYOND...

UNTIL I FIND REST, I WILL BE EVOLVED. UNTIL I FIND PEACE, I WILL BE A FIGHTER.

Traveled...Small Town Cities...Big Dreams... Toronto to  New York City...Everywhere In Between

A year ago, well ten months ago, I set my eyes on NYC. 

Convinced that I was going to spend the rest of my days, dancing. Something I so love to do, and thinking NYC was the dance capital of the world. 

To myself I said, let me try and go see whats there for me. I learnt that the arts are a fantastic part of the hustle and bustle in NYC.  I also learnt that many artists feel that same vibrancy and they celebrate their roots there, in this cultural mecca. Before I left, I painted my hair blue, as I often do. MY FAVOURITE COLOUR, BLUE. One that signals wisdom, and reverence for spirit. I left NYC because someone stole the keys to BMW. hahaha, right? Not a good reason, but that was the reason. When I began this blog, my colour theory instructor, her name was Julie, she said "Oh your doing a blog, thats great...Just don't write anything negative..." 

You know what I realize in my travels, is that the human mind loves to cling to negativity. It actually finds sorrow more familiar than joy. We have to train our minds to be grateful, and to really embrace the positivity in the many aspects of our lifestyle. There have been studies in science to back this theory, and it's not something I just made up. 

So why, than, are we so quick to avoid what is natural to us? Why the effort to see beyond the familiar? 

I juxtapose if the familiar pathway to our brain is sorrow, than what of this joys being born from the same tears and pain? Because the duality exists ...there isn't one without the other. And yet ...so much emphasis is on this module thought that says be happy, think positive ...

I don't know what to tell you, all I know, this blog, I started to tell you about my journey through doors that I would open. Has become a story of many doors that closed to me. ahhh, so the adage 'when one closes, two opens...' 

For now, a brief video on how I was able to do my hair for that trip to NYC. 

I learned what strength is, the hard way. After you think there is no more wonderful life, and you've been depleted beyond what your worth. When your broken in so many places, and you have to struggle to recognize the person staring back at you, through the mirror. Than you realize, your heart still finds wonder in life.
That's the beauty of seeking, if you dedicate your mind to finding peace, it can be achieved.
On a personal level, my strength was brought to me, after being broken and it was in things like;  a random smile, from a stranger, or a miracle ten dollar bill in your kitchen cupboard, or a friendly stranger listening to your sorrow just to remind you that you can leave a legacy here. For me, every loss I long suffer, endures as a brighter day. It's hard to say, what my intuition knows, but my mom, she says "this too shall pass". Because it's a reminder that while we do not have it all sorted out, this life is brief and our pain is transient. Often, so are our successes, but still they keep us sort of on course. In this blip of eternity, I just really want you to know, that you are beautiful.

By Now

Of course, you kno your reading a beauty bloggers blog ? Like you, I never knew that I would write anything on the World Wide Web ever. 

Best face Mask by far

Simply three ingredients 

1.black soap liquid ( Cocoa pod, plaintain skin, coconut oil, Palm kernel Oil, shea butter, glycerin and aloe vera )

2. Montmorillonite (FrenchPinkClay)

I order from www.canwax.com 

3.yeast(i use flieischmann's from www.breadworld.com) 

1967 pinup look

The lights are on 💡

But no one  is home ... 

      Ever think about reality as it is construed, artificially illuminated and purposefully manipulated, as if to imagine that it's reality ... 

I want to touch on a tough subject for women. The idea of our gender as it is constructed on consumerism... No judgements... And I have been both marketed to and the marketer ...  

This creation of beauty that passes for able bodied and forever young leads many to an, inferiority complex. So as if to say that if your not these things, than you're not really thinking. Your not really thinking about the hard work that we have put into construing beauty . And than if you can't appreciate that work, well how will you ever appreciate beauty? Pick up a magazine...

The positions of scientific research behind the lotions. The inner locutions of your 'celebrity divas'

and their potions. 

That's what the ultimate marketing  rationale of beauty is ; conformity. 

Even if your a rebel at heart : they have a brand for that too!! Don't you worry , we're all divided into niche market segments. And it is so real. 

And so my goal, has been to go within myself to create safety. To save my energies for better things. By alienating the perception of innocent beauty. Putting aside and dissecting it's meaning upon introspection... After learning to live without magazines, tv, catalogs and even the mall....I wanted to know how to nurture beauty... The kind that's not for sale. 

It's not exactly marketable. It has more to do with your own standard that fitting into a standard. 

You see I get tired of the effect of societal values because I am seeker of truth. A lover of beauty... And a full able bodied thinker...

It's purview, societal values, more today than ever is to allow everyone who thinks they are different to find a brand they identify with... Not to create your own segment but to create incentives to belong to a segment... And this is because society values money ... 

That standard that says to every women; beauty has a regime for you - it just doesn't alleviate my experience of pain. And yes, beauty is pain because it's goal is transformative . And every part of it, is painful yet nurtured by the experience of being birthed,  into reality. 

So this idea that pervades our mixed messages in beauty, fashion and cosmetic marketing : Find an image, a skin type and a style that suits your class - and don't come out of that box. Believe in your limitations and you will achieve perfection!!! It stuck a whole bunch of women , who I might meet, on a daily basis;  in a box ...

You know the saying; the lights are ON but no one is home? Adaptive preference on fashion and style. So I'm here like; girl the lights are on and I'm not home right now. Because I'm actually home, but I'm free; to say that I'm not home when I'm busy ....

      Even if I wanted to come to the door: I can't, because I decided to get in that box you put beauty in, and start drawing on it and paper machè-ing in it, and colouring it and designing it into rectangles and squares and than not giving a &$&! What you think about how it looks because, it felt right to me.

And that is how I deal with the people I meet, who want to believe in their life's perception.... I say you know what... it's okay... I do not have to come to the door ... As long as it looks like the lights are on ... Someone will think we're home... And that's a safety feature; that we call adaptive preference . Excuse my elective presence ... I'll be reckless and dangerous before I'm void of substance and creative energy. In this elemental pathway i am creating beauty . And its presence, makes me feel like I  am safe. It can't be seen only felt. And so before I  walk into any bodies house, I make sure I know if all their lights are on. 

Because in order for me to create I need to know ; do they want me to

Think they're home or are they're lights really on because they know they need light to create ? Or maybe if it's dark, I'll let myself in because than I know, what I may percieve to be real,

it can be felt, not seen. And that is what I believe in .

Check me out on IG:@flyhighaesthetics

Also be sure to check out my favourite body lotion : AHAVA MINERAL BOTANIC VELVET BODY LOTION 

I'm currently using the honey suckle and lavender scent and it's gorgeous !! 

Make Up As Art

Art in its pure form is our imitation of reality. Widely varied as each person has their own hearts perception, reality is the selfs projection of what you want it to be.    Bonne Reverie ... C'est soír ... Bonnê Sòir 

Fenugreek Hair Treatment

I swear this made my hair softer, and it gave it incredible body‼️try it for yourself if you've been lacking lustre in these winter months 🐝🐝❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️ http://youtu.be/gRWgFZTbp4o

là vità è fattà così

Simplicity ... In the event called Life. A loose translation. One thing about my mother tongue is that it really doesn't translate. In italian the usage of language is intertwined with story telling and proverbs. A language that was solidified after the publication of Dantè's great literary works in and around the 1400's. My Italian was perfected through schooling but at home, it's a different story.

My maternal grandmother, the woman who raised me speaks a Spanish dialect. Some of the words we use would not be recognizable to a northerner or southerner. She speaks the italian she learned growing up in the era of the Second World War. Her education was disrupted, by Hitler and Mussolini. She barely finished grade three, when the troops started their raids on the households in Terracina.

She went into the mountains with her mother and young sister. Her father was a prisoner of war in East Africa. My great grandmother, not knowing if her husband the true love of her life was alive or dead, bought half the town. People were evacuating and she saw the opportunity to purchase beach and farm land. She knew that the war would end . She knew that they would rebuild . And it did end, it left permanent scars, destroyed so much beauty and caused propaganda galore. 

  

I leaned from the experience of my great grandmom,  the power to rebuild is greater than the power to destroy. That sometimes death and despair is the closest we get to inspiration. Sometimes the ugly and dark side can cause the  light  of beauty. Not manufactured and not the kind that is material. The kind of beauty that we pass on to our children . The hope of a blessing and the confidence to walk in that light. 

If the absence of light has seeped into your existence... Remember that it is only in the dark that a bright light can shine. 

Can't wait for the sun to shine more closely again!! The world keeps spinning. 

And in winter, the stillness captivates me. 

I used to look for blessings outside of myself . #snowhitefromrexdale