this morning

So I am not a morning person, at least not usually. I mean if I had J.Cole in the morning, I would be a morning person...But I don't...I have my mom, my daughter and my mom's mom, also my mother, to wake up to, in the morning.

Well, I sometimes have coffee, which I make with cinnamon and cardamon and hot milk. Usually sweetened with maple syrup, sometimes coconut sugar. And that helps make me a morning person, but ideally...I would have hot water with lemon and a shot of ginger from the juicer. God bless me. But I know an orgasm would be a good way to start the day. I also know that being chaste, is a method of self- preservation, so God bless me.

I guess life for me, without having any formed social bonds, is more about me than my relationships. Something about social processes don't excite me, like they are supposed to. I guess once you've experienced despair and real true regret, nothing comes from that. And making nothing into something, isn't a socially acceptable ideal. After all, society values progress. Society emphasizes the importance of having something, and getting more. Middle finger to that. I love life for its complex stillness and its rare beauty. I love that feeling that you get when you can't name the spark of the divine in your repertoire of emotinal intelligence , you can't fit the exact label onto the feeling of manifesting life. It's just life, and for that reason I wake up in the morning, and I laugh at my kid who would rather stay home and be here with me than go to school. She would rather shave her head than have me oil and pull through braids. Or my grandma, who keeps calling out to God to end her life, and looking at me and saying take care of the baby, meaning, she has become a baby. Or my mom who knowingly puffs on a cigarette despite her bones aching her, moving far beyond time into her role as a daughter, a mother and a grandmother. You see, all those things happening at the same time, they remind me that chaos is sometimes the fruit of humanity. And this reminds me that it's okay to see beyond the veil. To know that the systems invented for social customs, aren't the design order. Beyond chaos I see the strength. And well. I may not manifest the reasons to go beyond, I know damn well who the fuck I am, And that's a good morning. I did't mean to cusz.

nigga xo

Notes of Cherished Fragrances

Coming back to myself in a search for fragrance, I like to remind myself of my cherished memories of perfumes. Reminded by the notes in these favourites of my childhood memories, and the transition into being a phonenomal woman. I realize that this, an excerpt from Miss Angelou, is a cliché and pay homage to her mastery of wisdom and beautiful poems. I credit her with an eccentricity and positive genius, available to all women.  I think her insight into womanhood is an invaluable inspiration to all. Men and women alike. I hope that as society evolves into the far reaching concerns of issues beyond what this blog addresses, that Miss Angelou's strength is portrayed in more and more ways.

I say this because, well, women matter to me. In a deep sense of reverence, we all know that the woes and pain associated with femininity are both intriguing and exasperating. Since i can remember I was taught that women get the shame and men get the name. I was taught that to be a young lady meant so many things different forming a young man, but not to be differentiated b society, because well, feminism... 

Hmmm, the scent of a woman, our very body chemistry, our pheromones, or the genetic make-up is so different. And because of that my next blog is dedicated to my love of perfume, in my life. I grew up, with model mom, whom loved perfume. Very much so, her love was a fascination and she explained to me the difference between L'eau de toillėtte and l'eau de perfume at a young age. Her favourites were Shalimar, and Opium. I am not sure if they still are made, but I know my mom most likely has a bottle or two of each in her bedroom. 

I could never make perfume last, I spray that stuff like its going out of style! Literally love the fragrances of vanilla, and oriental notes of musk, as much as I do make-up! 

My first perfume, was given to me in Italy, and it was a lily of the valley fragrance, reminiscent of my innocence and purity. I think I was maybe seven years old. My aunt, the aesthetician gave it to me as a gift with a red Oscar De La Renta bathing suit for the beach in Terracina, the beach town where my maternal grandparents had made their dwelling before WWII. That perfume stayed with me until I was like twelve, and than CK ONE was like my everything, until I was about fourteen. Then I was on a L'eau D'issy kick until I was around twenty years old. AT twenty years old, I had decided to explore natural fragrances, and had studied plant chemistry and the basic knowledge of aromatherapy. 

Some of my favourite oils, included the popular Lavender, I learned that there are varieties of lavender essential oils, some trace the chemistry of the plant d.n.a., others have specific plant parts used in distillation and etc. I loved bergamot, for its uplifting citrus and relied on ylang ylang and chamomile to help ease my nervous tension and still budding womanhood. My mom, she loves Jasmin Absolute for its exclusive fragrance and that also rubbed off on me. 

I also used lemon when I had to study for exams, and was citrus-fied by the uplifting fragrance of this essential oil. I continued to experiment with essential oils throughout my soap making processes and in the making of some of my own face packs, Becoming particularly attracted to Frankincense Myrrh and Sandalwood for their unique and exceptional compositions. 

Ylang-ylang, or cananga adroit, its scientific or INCI botanical name is prized for it's aphrodisiac properties. I like to use it in my hair masks. Other people prefer Ginger as a hair tonic because it stimulates the root growth. But I add it to my hennas and my oil treatments, for its relaxing fragrance, by itself. I consider hair, to be the spiritual antenna to the world, and very often I try and nourish and treat my follicles. Although often, you'll see me with a whole head of weave...

Bergamot, or citrus bergamia, its INCI botanical name, is positively a mood uplifter. I love it added to Jasmine scented lotions and, would dab it on as a perfume through out my pregnancy for its reputed benefits. Find it in Earl Grey tea, and if you want to try something different, make the most out of a London Fog lattè at Starbucks! 

Jasmine Absolut, is a precious gem in the collection of my cherished aroma memories. This fragrance solidifies romance, healing, self care and nourishment. I add it to my favourite water based emollient products. because it's complicated profile I try not to add it to anything where it will be overpowered by other botanicals. One that I love is the Hydrance Optimale Hydrating Serum, from Avene .

Sandalwood, Santalum Album it's botanical name, was a treasure to me during my dance career. It shared with me a balance for every injury and a forgiving quality for every remedy to was my tension. This fragrance has soothed my soul back to life on more than one occasion.

Frankincense, or its botanical name Boswellia Sacra, is a mystery to me. I find it has power, to both reveal the self to the self, and protect the self from the self. I believe everyone has a shadow . I know my shadow, has a shadow side because I'm totally a runner. So I rely on this oil to help me focus my energies and honestly, I need this oil in my spiritual practice, However, it is also a tremendous cosmetic aid in retaining youth to the dermis forts clarifying properties. Frankincense is used in some Sisley products, such as their mask which I adore "Creamy Mask with Tropical Resins" I think its around $122.00 for a tube, so I quickly learned how to incorporate my own essential oil mix with face masks made at home. I could never quite figure out the Benzoin component of their formula, because it comes as a resin and is very difficult to coax out the bottle...If you have the money to spend on SISLEY skin care, go for it. They are overpriced but effective cosmetics.

Anyhow, from divulging some cosmetic secrets I seem to have gotten away from the sentiment in the post, supposed to be about fragrance ! 

This blog is fun because in my own silly way, I set out to make a video about my favourite scent, Vanilla!

On this journey I wanted to encourage very lady to retain their power and enjoy their perfume bottles...maybe even make their own by experimenting with layers of fragrance and essential oils! 

But also, I wanted to lament about the Cartier brand revealing its new version of "panthere", because I adore the original version that was made in 1986 by, Alberto Morillas. That perfume was notes of exotic flowers and musk complimented by a bottle with a cute little exotic animal on top...And I loved it, I almost stopped wearing perfume when they stopped making it! 

Cartier has reinvented the perfume, or come out with La Panthere, and I'm afraid that it's not the same. The other perfume that I so love for its vanilla notes in Casmir by Chpard in 1992. A vanilla base note mixed with balsamic florals for a delightful opulent fragrance that is no longer sold in stores today!